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Raintree apartments, a rake, shaving cream and a wig

I remember an evening in Provo while living at raintree apartments that required running through the complex me with a golf sandtrap rake ('borrowed' from a golf course in Vacaville California) and Crispy with a wig, shaving cream, and if I do recall, he had saran wrapped half his body.  We break out the front door at full sprint, me chasing Crispy who is shreaking wildly.  I think we ran around the pool, hopped the creek and went back to the apartment.  I think the whole event lasted 45 seconds perhaps.  I do remember it vividly though.  Funny to think that 20 years later I can remember 45 seconds of my life.  It was the same evening that I set the cookbook on fire on the stove.  Good times.

John is Not Dead

Long live John! Well, ain't that a smack in the pantaloons....out of the blue John Barrow drops me an email. He was searching for our mutual friend and onetime roommate Kirk Hedman (living large in South Jordan, Utah, sprouting children from every pore), and came across this here weblog, and BAM he is alive again.

For those kiddies unfamiliar with the whole Raintree Apartments episode of my life, John shared a room with Kirk during the first semester of our sophomore year at BYU. John was recently returned from his mission (Mexico, I think), fancied plaid pajamas, and was in a perpetual state of returned-missionary shock. It didn't help matters that Preston and I were one step short of rabid, always looking for way to torture all of those we came into contact with our subtle form of insanity. Things like 1) listening to music at live concert-levels, 2) burning several packs of incense at a time, 3) setting stuffed animals on fire outside our front door stoop and back patio, 4) dry ice bombs in and out of the house, 5) randomly disassembling furniture, 6) bringing farm animals into the apartment and letting them loose, etc etc.

A brief snippet from his email:

I have to say that back then I was doing everything I could to stay on the straight and narrow – recently returned from a mission; it was definitely a shock to live with you guys. I thought you were nuts and always wondered what would eventually happen to you. But, at the same time I always admired your ability to do what you wanted – to be spontaneous and really LIVE your life.

Of course, the insantiy was all quite necessary. I like to think that we helped make John a stronger human being - like Kwai Chang Caine from the television show Kung Fu (ah, Grasshoppah!)

Yeah, just like that...

Visions of Pink Toilets

Ah, the fabled pink toilet of sophomore year at Raintree apartments.

Preston and I were wandering the aisles of the Provo Deseret Industry thrift store one fine day, and came across a lovely pink toilet in the hardware section. After parting with our hard-earned $4, we loaded it up in the back of his black 280Z (whatever happened to that Car anyway?) and made our way back to that dump of an apartment.

We had already disassembled the bunkbeds and placed them conveniently in the locker outside on the porch, putting our mattresses on the floor - mine half way in the closet. Did I mention that we had also removed the closet doors? More space that way.

The toilet fit right into our anarchist/girl-ogling/collage motif, and we decided to place our coveted palm tree in the bowl. I think we named the plant Fred. Can't recall. Well, Fred died a few weeks later, so we decided to turn the toilet into a fishbowl. After a couple days, the fish disappeared -- into the trap, I suppose. Never did find them again. So the toilet became an incense burner.

Ah yes, I love that toilet in the incense days.....we'd light up a pack at a time. None of that wussy one stick at a time crap. Laying on my bed in the middle of the day, music blaring at deafening levels, spending hours looking up at the swirling, churning smoke trails. Good times.

I miss that toilet. But it looked mighty fine on fire, floating down the Provo river on a giant square of green foam. Ah...those were the days.

One day it was just plain freezing

I remember this one day I was reading the newspaper about it being so cold that cows were dying.  Turning into a giant beefcicle.  If I recall it was like 21 below zero of something.  Whatever it was it must have been dang cold.  I had an 8am class and knew I was going to freeze but nothing prepared me for that morning.  I remember walking out and immediately my hair and nostril hairs froze.  My lungs hurt like a mofo.  We were living in the Hole which was about 10 blocks from campus, let alone the class was on the North side in the humanities building.  So my guess it was probably a two mile or so walk.  I could visualize freezing solid, lying against the gutter of the road, a frozen casualty.  Just like the cows.  I wonder if the crows would begin eating me.  Nah, I made it to class, moaning and groaning the whole way.  For some reason I just remembered that.  Provo could get dang cold.  Go see Russ.

Thanks....Dick!

During our sophomore year, the entire Industrial Design class was allowed to go on hiatus and explore other areas of interest. Doug Stout was teaching our class at the time, and I really think he was annoyed by some of us, and saw this as an opportunity to get rid of us for a few weeks. Well, under the wing of BYU-dropout-turned-Hollywood-special-effects-guru, Randy (Crit) Killen, we started hanging out down at BYU studios...with permission of the Grand Pu-bah of BYU Studios, Mr. Dick Jameson.

Now, don't get me wrong: Dick was awesome. He allowed us pretty much unfettered access to any project on the lot, and we were able to help work on a couple sets, including one to be used by the Church for one of their videos. And many interesting design projects found their way down to the massive scrim backdrop for photo shoots (the coolest was Scott Allen's giant paper mache planet).

What's the point of this story? Not much. It's just that one time, Randy and I were down meeting with Dick in his office on the lot, and Dick was walking us through slides of different sets and effects. Dick was sitting with his back to us, and I was doing everything in my power to not bust out laughing as Randy would say things like "Wow, that one is interesting.....(long pause)...Dick." And then he'd turn to me and kind of chuckle. Over and over again, always with the long pause.

Ok, it was stupid. But it made me giggle remembering it.

A day that just popped into my head

For some reason, there was a day that I remember that just popped into my head today.  Felt I needed to share.  I need that happy feeling of pure burning of the bosom dropped down into blogosphere land.  It was the day that I almost ran over my dad's brother.  My dad's brother, well, he has an interesting history.  He's been in and out of mental institutions for years and even went to prison for having a meth lab in his house.  He was a meth lab guy before meth labs were cool.  He also worked in the railroad for a while, and if I recall had his kids living in an abandoned car for a while.  But that is neither here nor there.  At the time I was in college, he was in the Provo mental hospital (though I didn't know it at the time).  I was driving down center street and was about to turn right towards the famous Tommy's Burgers on 200 S. when a man walked directly into the street in front of my car.

Anyway, I screech on the brakes and we both just stared at each other for a moment.  The guy looked eerily familiar, but couldn't place him.  Then I realized that he was my uncle.  I hadn't seen him in probably 10 years or so, and he looked at me with some weird look on his face.  He looked/looks like a serious biker type guy and seeing him in gloriously mormon Provo seemed way out of place.  I remember telling my dad a few years later about the incident and he told me that indeed my uncle was in Provo around that time.  Kind of an odd karma thing.  Weird.

Have Fun! (or don't)

Someone said something to me yesterday that reminded me of a funny interaction I had my freshman year in the dorms with a fellow who was a tad bit self-righteous. I seem to remember he called himself 'Jed,' and he also thought of himself as a ladies' man and a decent singer.

In fact, I remember waking up one morning to hear what I thought was the sound of cattle being slaughtered, but no - it was Jed playing, over and over and over, a tape he had made in one of those $20-to-record-yourself-singing-one-song to that famous Righteous Brother's (how fitting) song that was used in Top Gun (still a popular movie in 86-87). It was flat out awful. But I digress.

Jed and I didn't much get along, but I wished him no ill. At the end of the semester, he had received hi mission papers and was getting ready to head home (to Orem? or somewhere far, far away) and leave, so I thought I'd congratulate him and say something nice. I said "Hey Jed. Congrats on the mission call. Have a good time and maybe I'll see you when you get back." Simple enough, right?

But no, he immediately shot back in a smarmy, rude way "I am NOT going on a Mission to have fun."

So I replied, "Ok, have a miserable time on your mission, then."

What a tard.

Crazy kids

Go Cougs, rise and shout the cougs are out.  Cougareat, pronounced Coug Air EE at for more sophisticated dining pleasure.  It was as place of intrigue and downright strange times.  I can't recall if I wrote this already but one of the fun things to do was play the same song over and over on the jukebox.  For some reason I was stuck on two songs that were particularly annoying.  Chains of Love by Erasure and some song by Bonnie Rait.  Anyway, I'd pump about five bucks of quarters into the jukebox and play the song over and over and over.  Insert hilarious adjective.  No one noticed of course, but it was still funny.  I also enjoyed sitting down to complete strangers and striking up a conversation about something completely off topic  "Hey, what was the first bicycle you ever rode?" or "Have you ever had hernia surgery?"  Mostly it was an attempt to score chicks, but for some reason I was usually in some long term relationship.  I wasn't a play the field guy.  Stupid me.  One thing about the cougareat is that you could always find cheap food.  Pizza slice being a staple in the PDGreen diet. 

After chillin like Bob Dylan at the cougareat, for some reason I was obsessed with some video game near the bowling alley. I can't for the life of me remember.  I think it was Millipede.  I spent a lot o money on Milliepede and the game was boring.  Once you figured out the pattern it was simple.  Ah well, the life of a student wasn't always the most exciting.  I look back now and think about how stressful I thought life was back then.  I'd crave to have that kind of stress these days.  Hmmm, do I wake up at noon or one.  I think I'll back Russian and go fishing.  Living on 300 bucks a month.  Simple life.  This is a pointless log.  I was just remembering the cougareat and wanted to mention it many times in a blog.  Tastes like chicken man.

80's Albums of the Hole

What am I missing?

U2-War
REM-Reckoning
Echo and the Bunnymen - Ocean Rain
New Order - Low-Life
Simple Minds - Sparkle In The Rain
OMD - Crush
Depeche Mode - Black Celebration
Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party
The Cure - Head In The Door
Go'Go's - Vacation
The Psychadelic Furs - Mirror Moves
Erasure - Wonderland
Primitives - Crash
Hipsway - The Honey Thief
Ultravox - Lament
Smiths - Queen Is Dead
Modern English - Ricochet Days
The Plimsouls - The Plimsouls
Wiretrain - In A Chamber
Red Rockers - China, first album
David Bowie - Let's Dance (hated the album, but a must)
James - Sometimes
UB40 - Rat In The Kitchen
Icicle Works - Icicle Works
Blancmange - first album
Lloyd Cole and Commotions - A Perfect Skin
Duran Duran - Seven and the Ragged Tiger
Siouxie and the Banshees - Dazzle Ships
The Cult - Love
Bucks Fizz - I Hear Talk
Culture Club - Colour By Numbers
Dead or Alive - Youthquake
Kraftwerk - Tour De France
Escape Club - Wild Wild West
Information Society - Pure Energy
Human League - Fascination
Jesus Jones - dammit forgot the title
Alarm - 68 Guns
Red Flagg - Russian Radio
Boomtown Rats - I Hate Mondays
Naked Eyes - First Album
Bananarama - Cruel Summer
Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Welcome to the Pleasure Dome
Berlin - Masquerade
Waterboys - I Hear The Sea
Love and Rockets - Confusion
The Church - Under the Milky Way
Housemartins - People Who Grinned Themselves To Death
Madness - One Step Beyond
Yazoo - Upstairs at Eric's

Devo-Whip It

Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense

The Fixx - Reach The Beach

Need the key albums from the following
The Pogues
Fine Young Cannibals

The Family Statue on Campus

For some reason, the family statue was a favorite of ours.  We were always doing something with it.  Dressing it, adding extra children or stuffed animals.  I'm not sure why we did it, perhaps we were both from dysfunctional families and needed some warmth in our lives.  Solid copper families give off a lot of warmth