Fat Al

Ah yes, another story from the dorms...

There was so much love flowing in Hinckley Hall during that first semester at BYU. I was paired up with a surfer from Florida named Scott, my buddy Preston was paired with a river raft tour guide from Placerville, CA (hangtown!) named Scott, and we had two guys named Alan running around. One happened to be pencil thin and a cool guy, the other was short and stocky - and not so pleasant to hang around.

I'm not sure where it all started, but there was distinct animosity between Jeff Miner (who is now is prison - no kidding) and Fat Al. While I'm sure most of it was not deserved, it was kind of hard to stick up for the daily taunting and practical jokes against Al because he was such a self-righteous jerk all of the time. I think he considered me one of his "friends" on the floor, but to be honest, I didn't like the guy.

During one of my phases at the Y (there were so many phases), I had discovered a unique use for hot sauce from Taco Bell. At the time, they came in little plastic cubes. I would poke a holle in one end, and place them strategically underneath the toilet seats on our floor, and wait to hear the yells. When people would sit down, they would be sprayed with hot sauce on the back of their legs. Not the most mature prank, I know. But as the youngest person on the floor, I felt it was my duty to do the most damage. Anyway, to tie it back in -- Fat Al became my last victim, and with a brand new suit. I felt bad, and dropped this prank from my list. And I think that was the day Fat Al realized I was not a friend.

There were daily attacks on Fat Al, primarily from Jeff -- but everyone seemed to dislike Al. His claims that he was going to the Celestial Kingdon and everyone else to hell didn't exactly build a case in his favor...even though he may have been right about a few folks (like I said, Jeff is now in jail). But if there was ever someone who was making a concerted effort to NOT have friends, it was Fat Al.

Man, I just read this back, and its not such a pleasant little story. Just my mood this morning, I guess.