March 15, 2007

A vicious 20 year cycle

So I have an update to the glorious P and C saga.  We now live 30 minutes from each in some odd karma twist.  Okay maybe not, Crisp submitted my resume to Microsoft and I got a job there.  HOwever, it is still a little odd that the paths still remain in tack, bleck

March 15, 2007 in Roommate Stories | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 09, 2004

To Kipple or Not to Kipple

"Kipple is a word coined by the remarkable science fiction writer Philip K. Dick. It refers to the sinister type of rubbish which simply builds up without any human intervention. Eventually, one day, the entire world will have moved to a state of kipplization. Castle Gormenghast is doing nothing to help this." (http://manor.york.ac.uk/index.shtml)

I don't know what the crap that guy is talking about. In my book, "kippling" refers to a grown man (or post-pubescent, eternal man-child) lying on the ground, arms at his sides, writhing and wriggling about as if on a bad heroin trip....like a fish out of water.

Sometime during our freshman year in the dorms, we began to practice the art of kippling, sometimes in the sanctity of our own dorm rooms, other times in the middle of the quad on campus, or at a large social gathering where it couldn't be more inappropriate.

Those were the salad days.

July 9, 2004 in Roommate Stories | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 21, 2004

Sleepy Guy

What was with the rubber bands on the foot?

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April 21, 2004 in Roommate Stories | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 02, 2004

The Scooter Accident

There's been a lot of talk about this story - perhaps too much talk.

Yes, it is true that my very hot, MDT (music/dance/theater major) girlfriend at the time (I'll refer to her as Debbie Hines) was very much in sync with my desire to just skip the whole dinner thing and proceed directly back to The Hole and participate in some n.c.m.o. (insider talk -- look it up). And yes it is true that all of this happened prior to the current scooter helmet laws. And yes, it was a Ford Pinto that hit me.

So there we were, racing down 800 East, heading for The Hole and an evening of frolicking, when all of a sudden I was waking up in the hospital. As I fade in and out for a moment, I see the anxious face of my roommate standing over me, and I say "Man, you look like crap." and then pass out again. My understanding is that he decided to leave at that point.

So, after 6 weeks of my jaw being wired shut, having to drink my Thanksgiving turkey/dressing shake through a straw, the loss of two molars, and weight loss to Nazi death camp proportions, needless to say my relationship didn't survive. But I got years of TMJ issues for my troubles, and about $20k in insurance money.

So what actually happened? Well, apparently a young lass had just recently received her driver's license, and, having reached the minimum age to attend the fantabulous dance orgy (and I don't use that term lightly), otherwise known as The Palace, was driving her friends in her parent's Ford Pinto (moose poop green, no less) to the club on "teen night". Now, understand that, like the majority of Utah's roads, 800 East had 5 extra wide lanes -- two on each side, and a suicide lane. I was in the far right lane, traveling about 40 MPH with my hottie behind me. Ms. Pinto was on my far left. As she approached The Palace, apparently she didn't realize she needed to turn, and someone in her car said "There it is!" to which she reacted by swerving across all lanes of traffic....hitting me and my hottie on our scooter. I flew over the handlebars and face planted the Pinto. My girlfriend slid with the scooter, wedging under the car.

I can sort of remember the crowd gathering, someone saying "Man, that guy is dead" (optimistic crowd), and then the guy in the ambulance talking to me, interestingly enough telling me how good looking my girlfriend was, and how I was lucky. Jerk.

I believe the girl had that newly minted license taken away from her for a few months. Aw, bummer. As I mentioned, my jaw snapped, I lost some teeth, and was pierced in a couple places by random metal objects. My g-friend got the worst: fractured her knee-cap and basically ended her dancing career. Last I heard she was still in a lawsuit over it. I don't know the details because as soon as her father met me, he disapproved of me, and that was the end of me dating her.

April 2, 2004 in Roommate Stories | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack