Redmond Town Center gets Starbucks Coffee

Not that I drink coffee, but apparently the building is in some caffeine induced hysteria after having the automatic Starbucks machines installed.  I went to investigate these little machines of wisdom and would like someone to explain what left coffee is and what right coffee is.  Is it for personality types?  Leaded and unleaded?   Or is it some sort of weird conspiracy set forth by Haley Bopp comet enthusiasts that did NOT drink the koolaid.  I wonder if in prehistoric times the common man had to make such decisions as to pick the right or left coffee.  Perhaps his dilemmas were much more animalistic.  Which piece of dried yak carcass should I eat?   One may never know.